Sunday, February 14, 2010

A Simple Man

I'm a simple man.

I coast through life not looking for trouble, not embracing it, not fearing it; I await life's obstacles then react, finding a way around, over, or through them, then I plow on to the Next Thing.

I understand when talked to, every word, every idea; I can even see through the bullshit and read between the lines of those who live and die by the political, advertising or media spheres of life. I do, however, I expect more from my friends, family, and loved ones - I expect them to be clear, to enunciate their ideas precisely, beyond doubt, to leave no room for interpretation.

I'm a reliable man.

I can be depended upon to put those close to me ahead of everything else in life, even if it's the worst possible thing to do at that moment. I'll do it without thinking twice, and I will never regret it, not even after grave consequences.

You can expect me to try to become a better person, a better Man, at all times. But you can't expect me to change who I am, my beliefs, my values, because, again, I'm a reliable man. It's simple, man.

I like my qualities, I chose them myself when I was a child, deciding how I wanted to grow up and live my life. I have my flaws, and will work on them, but never interfering with my inherent qualities.

I wouldn't want to compare myself to The Next Man.

Because Next is New and New is Best, more often than not. New is usually What Old Wasn't, so it's an improvement in itself, until its flaws surface, then it becomes a Now, and the only step after a Now is a Past. And only the elderly and the nostalgic are so comfortable with the past.

But everyone, in their life, has had that moment, the one moment, where you decide - or someone does it for you - that it's time to move on. And all of the sudden, you realize you hadn't kept in touch with the ''real world''. Sure, the news, current events, elections, sports championships, things that happened, but not the ''real world''. Somehow, it had decided to continue its operations without you. You remember the last time you had to deal with things on your own, and - holy fuck! - it was a whole decade ago; not just that, it was a brand-new century. People had celebrated, turned over a new leaf, evolved.

Simple, easy things you thought you knew since birth were no longer up-to-date. Interactions between humans had evolved, they don't like hearing the same things they used to; their thought process had changed; your views are no longer in the majority (where you're looking, at least).

And to make things worse, you no longer look like you used to; heck, you don't even look like you think you look (which is closer to how you used to be, give or take a couple of years and pounds): hair is gone, belly is immense, height has decreased, muscles are softer, limbs are crooked...

How the hell did that happen? How did I not notice this happening? Where did my fucking life go?

And it hits you that, at the very least you're still alive; you can feel it, because despair, pain and worry are emotions, and as far as you know, dead people don't have those. But you think back to every meal you've ever had - those vegetables, that meat, they all used to be alive, too, and I came along, and then I flushed them away. Elton John sang about it, ''The Circle Of Life'', and goddamn The Lion King was a great movie...

But where does that leave me?, we always ask ourselves. Me, me me.

To the world: Who cares? It can live without you, and will; heck, it has, for a decade, already.
To those you know: they'll make it through.

If you're lucky, they can help you make it through, too.

'Cause you're still alive.




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