Video Of The Week: Hall & Oates (Two For One Of Sorts)

Oh, I know what you're thinking, 'cause chances are I'm thinking the exact same fucking thing.

Here's the story: I had no clue this ''hit'' song from the 80s even existed until a couple of weeks ago when I saw it on Much More Retro, the music video channel I turn to for laughs when I'm either bored and alone, or to add a funny backdrop and mood when I have someone over, something that'll make background noise and won't interrupt us or require our total attention until it becomes way too cheesy.

So this comes on, and I'm shocked, awed, and overwhelmed. I laugh so hard I almost piss my pants.

Now, I won't even pretend to know anything about Hall & Oates other than it's an 80s group formed by Darryl Hall and John Oates, and that for most of my life, I thought - just by their name alone - they were a country duo. I also vaguely remember a segment of a skit called 'In The Year 2000' on Late Night With Conan O'Brien where Conan and cohort Andy Richter ''take a look into the future'' and come up with funny anecdotes that both make fun of news events and pop culture icons, and in one particular segment, they referred to the end of Hall & Oates, saying each member would be heading their separate ways, but instead of each keeping their own moniker, ''Oates will be in Hall, and Hall will be in Oates'', a gay joke if I've ever heard one.

And, looking at this video, there are, indeed, a number of them that can be made - Oates' mustache alone practically smells of anus right through the screen. The fact that they seem like they've just gotten back from a Miami Vice shoot also mesmerizes me.

Other things to look for: saxophone enters at 2:40 - an 80s staple; also, starting at 3:15, the guys start to realize that maybe they would need to move, come up with some sort of choreography, since they've been static - as opposed to ecstatic - for over three minutes so far; 3:30 brings a climax of both saxophone AND homoerotic choreography...





Also, for the first time, an added bonus: if that wasn't enough for you, there's a more 'modern' version where Montréal electro duo Chromeo are guests in a webisode of Live From Darryl's House, where Hall admits the beat was from his Casiotone (the 'rock'n'roll 1' pre-set) and so was the bass line...

Things to watch for in that clip: the song starts at 3:49, before that it's a behind-the-music type talking about the making of the song) a fat black man thinks he's at the dentist at 3:57; two of Daryl's band members seem genuinely happy to be playing again at 5:09; Hall inserts a break that wasn't in the original song, at 5:33, and he looks proud; ONE OF Hall's professional studio musicians asks himself what the fuck he got himself into at 6:20; Hall's guitarist shows the kids how it's done with a solo on the acoustic guitar, despite having a guy with a fucking Les Paul right next to him at 7:18; at 7:35, you'll notice the guy with the Les Paul gets a bit annoyed; the song 'breaks down' and tries to turn into a sexy bedroom ditty at 8:28 but, unfortunately, no can do; Daryl's so happy kids dig his music at 8:54...